the other side of fear

‘‘Bang!’: An Unexpected Visitor at the Door

Change. That unwelcome visitor, who at times enters our lives with a loud bang, followed by a cloud of dust. Like a sudden wind blast, it’s known to pop the comfy bubble of safety we’ve taken years to build, sending our world crashing down. Fourteen years ago, one such visitor forced me to revisit the path I’d assumed lay ahead of me. Wake-up call, reality check, redirect—the event didn’t just transform my surroundings; it transformed me. Simply put, it changed my relationship with life itself.

The Known, from Head to Gut to Heart

‘Foundations’, ‘Bracing’, ‘Stability’, 'Balance'—these were familiar words, deeply relevant in my professional and personal life. Yet, it took all of thirty-five seconds for a seismic event to drill into my psyche how true stability stems from deep anchoring—of the right kind. Its tremors taught the lesson in a way no amount of academic knowledge on steel and concrete construction, or even field experience as an architect ever could. The only thing that came close was my daily centering practice of stillness and yoga, which continued to anchor me—mind, body, and soul—through the chaos.

Wisdom for Good and Not-so-Good Times

"Life is an adventure. We share in its joys and challenges. Step up to the plate and show up for the ride—and for each other!"
This was my friend Mimi's motto. She was gone without a goodbye in that sudden event, and her words stayed with me. Mimi lived by these views and expressed them at times, but I hardly paid heed until the quake. With my shell now cracked, their message began to echo like a catchy tagline in my mind, urging me to open to the fullness of living. It was a call to wake up, accept reality, take risks, and act—in short, a reminder to embrace life wholeheartedly. And most importantly, they called on me to actively start living beyond my fears and share my path with others.

Opening to Possibilities

Mimi's motto spoke of empowerment and community, of building foundations that see us through change and flux. What if we could truly do that? How would we face wins, setbacks, and challenges? Would we let fear hold us back, go numb, or lick our wounds, hoping time will heal them? Or would we step forward with open hearts and minds, fully alive and willing to encounter both our limits and brilliance—and that of others?
After the earthquake, life veered me in a new direction. I gradually shifted my focus away from Architecture and more toward Self-care and Empowerment work. But first, I had to open myself to the broader possibilities Mimi had hinted at. I'm here doing what I'm doing today partly because of her legacy.

The Power of Small Steps

Elsewhere in the cosmos, it’s anybody's guess. Here on dear Earth, it helps if you’re willing to do this much: pause, take a breath, and thus invite more lightness into the moment. You, yourself, are best positioned to lay the groundwork. You can start cultivating attitudes and skills that guide you through the fears that hold you back to a better place than you’ve ever known.
What you need is simple: embrace practices that work for you; take it one day at a time, in manageable doses. And if you slip up and miss a day here and there, that's okay. After all, we're in for the long haul.

All About Perspective

As I write this, I can almost hear Mimi’s voice: “Look beyond your comfort zone, my dear, for what lies on the other side.”
Thus did a mighty quake drill in, with a sting, lessons about fearless living I had shunned, despite the heads-up from a dear friend.